Turn Your Back And Run Now
by White Firebird
Summary: Oneshot Freddie drabble. What life would be like if Freddie was dating Missy...and all the bad things that come along with it.


**Hey everyone...I got this idea for a oneshot while listening to old blink-182 songs...see if you can figure out which song this is that's being used. Hope you all enjoy this one, I thought it was pretty funny when I wrote it up...**

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_"It's understood, I said it many ways,_

_Too scared to run, I'm too scared to stay._

_I said I'd leave, but I could never leave her,_

_And if I did, you know I'd never cheat her."_

To the untrained eye, Freddie Benson's relationship with Missy Robinson (funny, he swore to himself that he was dating Wendy. Valerie? Shelby, perhaps? Oh whatever…) was perfect. They were both straight A student's, both were always in good spirits, and both were very kind and nice to everyone. There didn't seem to be a bad bone in either one of them, many thought.

That was what everyone saw. What Freddie saw, when no one else was looking, however…

_"But this I ask, it's what I want to know,_

_How would you feel, if I should choose to go._

_Another guy, you'd think it'd be unlikely,_

_Another guy, you'd think he'd want to fight me."_

He constantly had to walk on eggshells around her. She was worse than any normal girl could ever be, and that was saying something, seeing as Freddie had met some abnormal girls in his short life. Whenever he did something she didn't approve of, she'd always reprimand him, or worse, just flip out on him and get all psycho emotional over the tiniest things. But she'd always follow it up by apologizing profusely and wanting him to love her. At first, it was something Freddie just dealt with, but soon enough, it became too much. Way too much.

_"She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare,_

_Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here._

_On the go, and it's way too late to play,_

_I need a girl that I can train."_

He didn't quite recall how he and Missy had ended up becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. Sure, it was fairly obvious that she had eyes for him, but he really didn't think she was so hot, truthfully. So she was best friends with Carly a long time ago…big deal. What he didn't like about her was that she didn't like Sam…and despite where he stood with Sam on the whole friendship/enemy shtick, he had still known Sam for a long time and would always stick up for her, no matter what. He, Carly and Sam had been best friends since the third grade, so there was no way that he'd let Missy try and step in and become part of their inner circle, so to speak.

But then something happened, involving him and Missy, they were alone…one thing led to another, and the next thing Freddie knew, he had the psychotic little red head on his arm, smiling like the bi-polar little Barbie doll that she was, waving and making nice with everyone (everyone except Sam, of course, which infuriated him to no end), and acting all lovey dovey with him in front of friends and fellow classmates…but then the minute they were alone…the real Missy reared her ugly head.

"What were you doing, talking to that little blonde headed witch!?"

"Missy, for the last time, that 'witch' has a name, and it's Sam. **S-A-M**."

"I don't care if she's got a name or not, answer my question, Fred_ward_!"

"Okay, first off, only **SAM** and my own mother can call me Fredward…second off, she's my **FRIEND**, and she has been since the third grade! Oh and maybe you didn't notice, but I kinda do this little webshow with her and Carly, called iCarly…maybe you've heard of it?"

"Freddie Benson, how dare you speak to me like that! Do you know who I am!? Do you know how much money and influence I have in the Seattle area!? Do you know who my father is!?"

"Ugh, since when did you become my wife?"

"That's IT! From here on out, you are no longer allowed to speak to that little skank Sam, ever again!"

"Did you just call Sam a **SKANK**!?"

"Oh Freddie…I'm sorry…love me?"

How he had ended up being Missy's boyfriend escaped him…and he was the smart one.

_"I heard it once, I'm sure I heard it twice,_

_My dad used to give me all his advice._

_He would say, you got to turn your back and run now,_

_Come on son, you haven't got a chance now."_

Finally though, one day, Missy had pushed his buttons one too many times, and in a moment that was long overdue, he did the flipping out for once, unloading on her with many accusations (all of which were right), chiding her for being jealous of Sam (which was true), and basically calling her out on every bad thing about her (of which there were many), and he called it quits. She tried her usual 'please love me' speech, but he wasn't having any of it. Leaving her house, he had no intentions of turning back and apologizing to the neurotic little whack job.

_"She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare,_

_Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here._

_On the go and it's way too late to play,_

_I need a girl that I can train."_

He was free of her shackles…so why did he suddenly feel remorse for what he did? Freddie hated his conscience, he really did. The little voice that would never leave him alone told him that he should go back and apologize, because truthfully, she really wasn't that bad of a girl, she just had…issues…so Freddie, against his own wishes, went back to Missy's apartment and knocked on her door. The door swung open, he was flung inside, and was tossed to the ground, with Missy standing over him, holding…a knife? What the hell?

"Now now, Freddie…so glad you came back…can't have you leaving me like that again…"

Should he be scared? Should he laugh? He didn't know what to do. She was lowering the knife towards him, that evil look in her eyes as she grinned madly.

"You're gonna be mine forever."

_"I need a girl that I can train,_

_I need a girl that I can train._

_Turn your back and run now,_

_You haven't got a chance now."_

"WOAH!"

Freddie awoke to find himself on the couch in Carly's apartment, a cold sweat having coated his forehead. He was still dressed in the clothes he wore to school, and, after looking at the time, realized he had been asleep for a couple of hours. But he didn't realize, until just now, that he had woken up the company he had on the couch with him…

"Aw, Fredlumps, you interrupted me winning the national hot dog eating contest…what's the matter with you?"

"Nothing…just had a…really weird dream…I dreamt that I was dating Missy and she forbade me to talk to you…and then I left her, but went back…then she had a knife and told me that I'd be hers forever...and why the hell are you sleeping on me?!?"

He felt the blonde haired girl who was lying on his chest look up at him, eyebrows arched, questioning look on her face. She then laughed as she rested her head back on his chest, sleepily muttering to herself.

"I'm sleeping on you because your body is soft and mushy...and well, your dorky butt wouldn't move, so I had to make due...and wow…there really is something wrong with you."

"Sam!"

"Aw relax…at least you know that if you ever left me, I wouldn't use a knife like some priss…I'd use my bare hands."

"Thanks for that lovely image, Sam."

"Anytime, Fredducini."

"You drive me crazy sometimes, you know that?"

"Our relationship wouldn't be what it is if I didn't, Fredpuss."

The entire sentence was dripping in sarcasm, but she followed it up with a peck on his cheek and a giggle, one that made Freddie smile as he stroked her head, watching her fall back asleep, before doing the same. She was right.

She would use her bare hands…and he was okay with that.

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**And that's the end of that little one-shot...off to start chapter 13 of T & C and chapter 2 of iGTJA...and the other one-shots I've got planned. Lates!**


End file.
